Wednesday 20 August 1969
Stoke City 0
Nottingham Forest 0
By Sir Francis Preston-Huntertrap
One can hardly imagine why 18,000 people ventured to this backwater of glorious England to watch an association game where time stood still for hours and hours. My dear readers so dull was this match up that I spent the entire match regaling the uncouth journalists about my grouse hunting exploits. Indeed they were dazzled and awed by my tales of adventures in deepest South Kent. So mesmerized were they by the tales to beat all tales that they all simultaneously had to leave to gather liquid refreshment. It was a pity they didn’t come back as I had more gallantry to bedevil them. Perhaps next time.
As for the match I did hear a mention of goalkeeping heroics by both teams, but I was thankfully too busy to notice.
Stoke: Banks, Marsh, Allen, Dobing, Smith, Skeels, Mahoney, Conroy, Ritchie, Eastham, Burrows,
Nottingham Forest: Grummitt, Hindley, Winfield, Chapman, Hennessey, Newton, Lyons, Barnwell, Richardson, Hilley, Moore.